Accismus

Attention creepy man on the subway platform: although it appears that I am staring at you, if you simply looked around yourself a bit, rather than just creepily staring back at me, you might realize that there are a number of other things I am more likely to be staring at, such as: the hot guy behind you. Or, the cute dress worn by the hot guy behind you’s girlfriend. Or, the shady guy clearly lifting an ipod out of the gaping side pocket of the hot guy’s girlfriend’s purse. Or, the policeman standing a little way away that is just staring passively at the pickpocket who’s taking the ipod from the purse of the girlfriend of the hot guy. Or, the subway musician who is watching the entire scenario and is clearly scoring his music appropriately. Or, the rat who is poking his nose into a paper sack gaping open next to the subway musician’s foot and extracting a sandwich. Or, the baby leaning from its stroller and reaching out to grab the tail of the rat who is taking the sandwich from the oblivious musician who is watching the cop who is watching the pickpocket who is watching the girlfriend of the hot guy who is not noticing her ipod being stolen because she is glaring at me because I am staring at her boyfriend. Or, the baby’s mother, who is being harassed by a religious pamphleteer and so is not noticing that her baby is about to touch a rat who is about to score a sandwich. Or, at the religious pamphleteer herself, who is crazily ranting to the mother, distracting her from her baby who is focused on the rat distracted by the sandwich, belonging to the subway musician distracted by the cop, who is not intervening in the pickpocketing of the jealous, well-dressed girlfriend of the hot guy, who does not actually seem to be any more aware of any of this than you, creepy guy, because he, too, is in his own world.