I’m sort of peripherally aware of the controversy surrounding this Four Loko caffeinated alcohol drink.  They’re banning it in NY, I think (as they did with Sparks before it)?  Here’s the thing, though – it’s just alcohol and caffeine, yeah?  I mean, probably not the best idea, but people are acting like it’s a mixture of ketamine and acid.  I keep hearing that children are dying and people are throwing themselves off balconies and what not.  Personally, I’m so caffeine tolerant/low energy that I can fall sound asleep standing up directly after consuming a venti red eye, but even normal people sometimes have a bottle of wine and a double espresso with dinner, yeah?  Or a few Red Bull and vodkas?  There’s nothing in this combination that makes people go starkers, so I don’t understand what the big commotion is all about. 

People have a tendency to make up reactions to substances; like how everyone – everyone!  – thinks they get a “sugar high” when there is absolutely no such thing at all.  So between that and the fact that I don’t really react strongly to a lot of substances, I tend to simply dismiss it anytime anyone’s going on about some craaaaazy food or beverage that makes you nuts.  For example, this whole meth thing:  I mean, guys, is it really the meth that’s to blame, or is it just that deep down, you secretly want to develop a terrible psychosis while all your teeth rot away?

Mayor Michael ‘No Fatties’ Bloomberg would like to remove soft drinks from the list of items that can be purchased with food stamps.

In general, I’ve been a fan of Bloomberg’s waistline-reducing initiatives, but I think this one is pretty ugly, however unintentionally. Obviously, there’s a stigma around using food stamps, and people who use them say it can be humiliating to grocery shop with them. Cashiers and other shoppers can be nasty and intrusive; people don’t think you should buy junk food at all, but they don’t think you should be able to buy pricey, healthy food, either.

Here, the health commissioners defend the measure in the Times:

This proposal to adjust the food stamp program is just one of many steps New York City is taking to reduce obesity. The city also has programs to increase the availability of fresh produce in poor neighborhoods; has set nutrition requirements for meals served in schools, after-school and day care programs and centers for the elderly; and has begun advertising campaigns to educate the public about obesity and nutrition. Taken together, these efforts will bring us closer to stemming the wave of obesity and diabetes in New York.

They, and other proponents of the ban, argue that soda isn’t food, and that there are many restrictions on the use of food stamps and this is one that should have been there all along.  But the thing is, it hasn’t been a restriction up until now, and this would be scoring a point about a mere symptom of a much larger problem at the expense of people who need additional social censure even less than they need a 2-liter of Coke. People on food stamps probably have other concerns currently taking precedence over kicking their soda habit, like, oh, say, getting off food stamps. Institutes that study such things say one of the big obstacles to digging yourself out of poverty is feeling like you have no control over your situation or your decisions, so further restricting people’s personal choices doesn’t seem very productive.

This very interesting blog post explains in detail how food stamps work in New York, and why this measure would be unlikely to produce the desired effect.

And here’s Sadhbhe Walshe in The Guardian:

On a recent shopping expedition (in my local C-town not some fancy organic joint), I paid $7 for a bag of apples, $5 for four oranges and $2 for one red pepper. Just those few items would eat up almost half one person’s weekly food stamp allotment. It’s no wonder, then, that people would opt for cheaper, high-calorie processed foods when money is tight.

The really frustrating part is that the reason that junk food and soda are so inexpensive (and therefore widely consumed) is that these products are subsidised by the federal government. All these foods contain high-fructose corn syrup, made from corn, which is a subsidised crop. So, while the poor are being frowned upon for their bad food choices, they are simultaneously being incentivised by misguided policy to make these choices. The hand that wants to take away is also the hand that giveth.

How much more sense would it make to subsidise the production of fruit and vegetables in low-income neighbourhoods, instead of Big Macs and 20-ounce Cokes and the like? That way, instead of imposing virtue on the poor, we could offer them a choice – and then try to move past the assumption that they might make a bad one.

Frankly, people need to stop talking about produce as if it were food in itself.  It has hardly any calories in it, so, while we should all ideally be eating a bushel of it with every portion of carbs and fat, the produce itself is extraneous to assuaging hunger. It’s more like a really elaborate, time-consuming vitamin. For example, last night after karate, I had a big bowl of brown rice, eggs, beans and cheese, and I also had a giant handful of spinach, a tomato and two carrots.  If I didn’t have any money, the first thing to go from that sentence would be the karate and the next would be the spinach, tomato and carrots, because, while they might be the most important part of that meal for my health, they’re the least helpful in my not going to bed hungry. Soda costs next to nothing, however, which is probably why it’s usually free where most people work.

Related Articles

• Let them drink Coke | Sadhbh Walshe (guardian.co.uk)
• Bloomberg: No Food Stamps for Sodas (theroot.com)

Q: Have had Pook for two years about, doe, want to breed her butt she is not intrsted in Thomas (male lop). Can she be gay? Or mebe Thomas is not male?
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P.S. FYI, I NEVER enjoy my dinner, and am ALWAYS worrying about Africa, so don’t ASSume, get it, ASS???
-Anonymous, Age 43
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Granted, I still revert back to my default personality whenever I am tired or hungry or jealous or feel backed into a corner. But generally, I do, for example, talk less and listen more now than I did at 20, and this was an incredibly difficult thing to change (although I still spew forth whenever I’m around someone who makes me nervous, or when I suspect I’ve just said something stupid and need to distract my listener by throwing verbal chum in every other direction). On the other hand, I’ve continually resolved to go out more and be vibrant and social, and that never sticks more than a weekend or so. But then, on the third hand, I have successfully learned to stop obsessing and ruminating. I think. Have I?

Whatever. My point is that it is possible to change yourself, at least temporarily, if all circumstances are favorably aligned and you’re well-fed and rested and around people who don’t annoy you too much. People quit smoking and drinking and sometimes even harder stuff, so really, there’s surely no behavioral habit so ingrained that it’s impossible to prod yourself out of it, I think. Except maybe overeating. And having poor posture. And wetting the bed.

I further resolve to take care of my skin until it is flawlessly, uniformly white and smooth, with no pimples, bumps, cellulite, stretch marks, flaws, or hair of any kind.

Moving past the physical, I further resolve to iron out all mental and emotional lumps, and to be useful, inoffensive and approachable, and possessed of neither worry, anxiety, depression, appetites, ambition nor dread. I will be a placid and unobjectionable addition to any environment.

Yes, that’s right, readers: in 2009, I resolve to transform myself into a short length of PVC piping. Wish me luck!

Now, don’t that beat all? The very first thing those damn liberated women of olden times did upon receiving the permission to vote was usher in prohibition/destroy the country. Now, 90 years later, they can’t stop hitting the sauce!

Freaking women. Either they’re drunks or prudes or whores or virgins or mothers or businesswomen or feminists or lesbians. But one thing’s for sure: they’re always up to something! If only they’d all pick one, good, amenable identity and conform to it en masse, it sure would make it easier to dismiss them all as individuals. But they just can’t seem to get on the same page.

Feministing:

The thing that pisses me off most about this article. . . is that drinking is a serious problem for young women and men. But instead of serious, nuanced media coverage on what to do about the drinking culture among American youth, we get article after article hawing about the consequences of equality. . . . Seriously – it’s tired. Not to mention incredibly sexist : the underlying message is that gender equality is bad for women.

So if folks are actually concerned about young women and drinking, how about we talk about the consumer culture that markets liquor (something Morris touches on before quickly returning back to feminism) or how drinking is being used to blame women who are raped? 

No joke. How many articles have their been lately about the increasing problem of binge-drinking and date rape on college campuses, and how many of these articles have arrived at the conclusion that the problem is…women being there? Yeah, maybe the problem is women being out and about, and drinking and carrying on like they’re real, live, young people. Or maybe – just maybe – the problem is men who rape women!

And as long as I’m taking the bait, check out this other asshole I ran across:

Forget what feminists, hippies, and liberals have told you in the last half century. They are all lies based on political ideology and conviction, not on science. Contrary to what they may have told you, it is very unlikely that money, promotions, the corner office, social status, and political power will make women happy. Similarly, it is very unlikely that quitting their jobs, dropping out of the rat race, and becoming stay-at-home dads to spend all their times with their children will make men happy.Money, promotions, the corner office, social status, and political power are what make men happy (as long as they win, of course, but then dropping out is by definition a defeat). Spending time with their children is what makes women happy.

You know, Satoshi Kanazawa, I think I know why you’re clearly so unhappy. You may think that you’re meant to be an evolutionary psychologist and author, but you’re lying to yourself and denying your true nature. You are actually evolutionarily designed to run fast, wrangle heavy stuff, and catch and strangle small creatures, and the sooner you admit that to yourself, the sooner you can become a truly satisfied man. I encourage you to quit all this thinking and writing that’s making you so miserable and unfulfilled, and realize your true potential as a welder/firefighter/rabbit-wringer.

I’ll get back to updating soon.  Meanwhile, Happy Halloween, and remember to vote!!

1. Do you feel that you are more unhappy than most other people?

2. Do you feel you have less energy than most other people?

3. Do you feel you have less money and less going for you, and generally fewer reasons to get up in the morning than most other people?

4. Do you suffer from anxiety, even when you are not sure what is making you anxious?

5. Are you anxious and worried when meeting new people? Do you have trouble making eye contact? Do you worry about how other people view you? If you do not talk to a friend for some time, do you begin to think that they might be angry at you? Do you obsessively run over and over the things that you said the last time you saw them, and attempt to figure out how they might have taken something the wrong way?

6. Do you often think that friends and relatives are talking unfavorably about you when you are not there?

7. Does thinking this make you cry?

8. Does crying about this then make you resolve never to speak to those friends or relatives ever again, and to make all new friends and relatives, and be a much more successful, entertaining and attractive person?

9. When you think of the sort of new person you’ll be, do you picture a particular celebrity?

10. Do you feel lonely? Isolated? Alienated? Misunderstood? Maligned? Persecuted? Overlooked?

11. Do you often overeat?

12. Do you sweat copiously, and does this sweating often humiliate you in public and/or on dates?

13. Do you worry that you smell, or that parts of you smell, but you cannot smell it, but everybody else can smell it, but they’re too polite to tell you?

14. Are you preoccupied with sex?

15. Do you often lie awake all night longing for death?

16. Do you often lie awake all night trembling in fear of death?

17. Sometimes both in the same night?

18. Do you worry that you are afflicted with an undiagnosed, terminal medical condition? When you hear that an acquaintance has been diagnosed with a condition, do you begin to see symptoms of that condition in yourself?

19. Do you have difficultly losing weight? Do you feel that you gain weight more easily and lose it with more difficultly than everybody else? Are you gassier than other people seem to be?

20. Do you have a difficult time focusing on work, hobbies, or other people when they are talking to you? Do you often wish you were somewhere else doing something different? Do you have difficulty beginning and/or completing tasks? Do you often procrastinate? Do you have a hard time remembering names, faces, and/or things that other people have said to you? Do you have a tough time working up an interest in things not immediately concerning you?

21. Do you find that what you mostly do is eat, drink and watch television, and while theoretically, there are any number of things you’d rather be doing, in actual practice, it seems that all you really want to be doing at any given time is eating, drinking and watching television?

22. Do you think that, deep down, you’re really probably very smart, but tragically, because of various problems with society right now and/or the shortcomings of various people in your life and/or a near constant lack of funds, you might never realize your full potential?

23. Are you often completely overcome with rage over something that is actually pretty trivial? When this happens, do you swear and throw things and make a total ass of yourself?

24. Do you often wish that some secret government agency would come and whisk you off the couch, erase your identity, force you to get in really good shape, and then send you off on incredibly important secret missions with an attractive and tortured partner?

25. Do you think that possibly this has already happened in your past, but your memories have since been erased, and that’s why you feel so much more unhappy than those around you and have such a vague, inexplicable sense of loss and emptiness? Or that possibly, all this (or something similar) is really happening to you right now, but you don’t realize it, because you are just a brain floating in a vat hooked up to electrodes?

–

You answered Yes to all of the above.

Your diagnosis: You may be suffering from a common, yet poorly understood condition called ‘Living.’ This condition is incurable, and ultimately terminal. While there is no known cure for this horrible, painful and devastatingly widespread affliction, your doctor may be able to prescribe a number of medications that can help to relieve the more intolerable symptoms of Living. It may help to know that you are not alone – a full 100% of the world’s population suffers from Living (although less than half of that number are aware they have the disorder). Currently, there are many experts struggling to better understand the causes and effects of Living. Unfortunately, research in this area is woefully underfunded, but as more and more citizens become aware that they are themselves suffering from Living, more attention will surely be given to investigating this complex and mysterious condition.

I seem to recall reading Shape several years ago, and it was 95% about actual exercise, and the models were all ripped. Not anymore.  Now, it’s 95% hideously overpriced clothes, and interviews with lying celebrities (“I mostly care about being happy and healthy, and my kids!”), and advice on how not to eat, or do anything much but spend insane amounts on worthless crap.  And only 40 pages in (or 3 pages in, if you don’t count advertisements), there is an interview with Kaley Cuoco.  Apparently, she is an actor on a sitcom, The Big Bang Theory.  I’d never heard of her or the show.  She’s 22-years-old, and this is what she has to say:

I go to [spinning] class three times a week, without fail.  I always get there early so I can sit in the front of the studio, and I’m ready to go as soon as the instructor comes in.*

And:

…right now I can’t get enough of the 6-inch vegetarian whole-wheat sandwich from Subway.  I pick one up after my Spin class . . . It’s my default meal; I know exactly how many calories are in it – 260 – and I never have to think about what to order.*

And worst of all:

Diet cola is my absolute favorite drink in the world; I used to drink four cans a day.  But to help me cut down, I’ve turned it into a treat.  Now, instead of having dessert, I’ll have a can of diet soda.  Putting a limit on how often I can drink it has helped me appreciate it more.*

Oh my God, Kaley!  I want to kill myself!  You are the saddest girl in the whole world!

Seriously, I myself am far more ascetic in most respects than your average person could bear to be, and I often find my own self depressing in some ways.  But even I want to kidnap this girl and make her go on some insane sky-diving, Fleet-Week-cruising, cocaine-snorting adventure in irresponsible hedonism.  What’s the point of being rich and famous if your best idea of an awesome time is go to spin class and then eat a Subway sandwich and drink a can of Diet Coke?

Jeez.

–
These quotes taken from Shape’s October 2008 issue (Vol. 28, No. 2); I don’t really know what the procedure is for footnoting in a blog post.  Please don’t sue me, Shape.  Oh, and also – your magazine blows.

Now, I understand that everything is more expensive now.  I don’t like it, but I am beginning to accept it.  What I don’t understand, however, is why there don’t seem to be single-serve portions of anything anymore anywhere.  I regularly find myself with five minutes to spare before work running into every damn drugstore all up and down the snack aisles, and there are just giant bags of chips, huge cans of nuts, jumbo pouches of trail mix.  What is this?  I don’t want seven servings of a snack.  If I take seven servings of a snack into the office, I will be eating seven servings of a snack.

The only single-serve portions available anywhere now, however, are those 100-calorie pack things, which are just totally worthless.  One hundred calories on an empty stomach just prods it enough to make it furious – you’re better off not eating.  I operate from a continuous base of low-level hunger, and when that hunger kicks from low- into high-level, I want to have just enough food in my purse to knock it back a little.  If I have more than that, I’m going to eat until I’m actually really full, and then I’m going to eat whatever small amount is left after that, because there’s not that much left and I may as well finish it.  And then I’m also still going to eat dinner three hours later anyway, even though I’m totally full, because I was so looking forward to dinner that I can’t bear the disappointment of just going straight from the office to whatever I’m working on that evening without my dinner break.  And there you have it – the Duane Read has just ruined my whole day just because it’s no longer stocking single-serving bags of nuts.

I have this dream that there would be a wonderful grocery store that caters to people like me.  This grocery store would have nothing but inexpensive, single-serving portions of all different kinds of food, and for an added bonus, maybe it could even be healthy food.  And a wide variety.

Well, actually, there is such a place.  It’s called Trader Joe’s, and there’s only one, and if you want to go there, you have to fight your way through a crowd of thousands and wait online for upwards of 45 minutes.  Wouldn’t you think, every other retailer in Manhattan, that, given the immense popularity of TJ’s, there might just be a market there that could stand to be capitalized on???

Single-servings of portable, precooked food items for $5-$6.50 a pop!!  And single-serve snacks for under $2!!!  Available at a great number of convenient locations throughout the five boroughs!!!!

Somebody cater to my specific need, damn it!

–

Oh, and also, if you don’t already read Fafblog, this Sarah Palin post is a great time to start:

As a Jesus-fearing moose-hunting hockey-mom mother of five who hunts moose for Jesus, Sarah Palin is kin to the wild outdoors and appreciates its bountiful splendor as she is gunning it down from her airplane. Sarah Palin understands that America is dangerously addicted to oil, and that the only cure is more oil. . . . Sarah Palin may not know if global warming is man-made. She may not know if global warming is real. She may not know what global warming is. But if global warming is caused by abortions, Sarah Palin will fight it – by banning abortion, just in case the first couple times didn’t take.

Go, read all of it, and then read the entire rest of Fafblog, because it never fails to kick ass.