But first, we got donuts.

Peter Pan donuts is a Greenpoint institution. The servers wear these kitschy outfits, and kitschy sour expressions, and there’s a little counter and everything.

The donuts fortified us for the hour-plus train ride down to Far Rockaway. When we got there, though, we needed lunch. We went to the best diner in Far Rockaway, according to the owner, who told us that several times, so I figure it must be true.

And then. . . beach!  I’d never been to Rockaway beach before – it was really crowded, but nice. I even went swimming, which I almost never do at beaches off of large cities.  My only bathing suit (which I bought at Old Navy five years ago for about $3 and wore all through five countries in all sorts of situations) had finally bit the dust, so I wore an old strapless bra.  I don’t think anyone could tell the difference.

You’re not technically allowed to have beer on the beach, so we had to be really subtle with our bartending.

Some of us brought fancy cheese:

And some, less fancy cheese:

When you’re at the beach, you pretty much have to dig a giant hole at some point.

Some of my friends made this awesome happy birthday land shark!

Overall, a delightful birthday!  (Well, until we tried to leave Rockaway and there was a track fire and no train service, and it ended up [for various reasons] taking us four and a half hours to get home . . . but other than that, a loverly day!)

Let’s all make sure to take advantage of whatever nearby seashores we have access to, before this wave rolls in:

__

(Thanks to my clever, clever roommate for thinking this up and making us do it, even though we were all tired and whiny!  See also:  this Improv Everywhere stunt.  I don’t know if this is where S got the idea or if the subway just suggests such activities!)

If you’re not familiar with The Morning News, be sure to look around.  I’ve been a daily reader since 2002, and have posted here about their yearly Tournament of Books, among other things.

In the subway station today, a gang of kids came through, and one boy started screaming.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, I only have one question to ask you today!  Meredith!  Meredith?  Wait there, please.’

Meredith:  ‘Stop it, seriously.’

Boy (running after her):  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, this will only take a minute of your time!  Meredith?’

Meredith:  ‘Will you please–’

Boy:  ‘Will you go to prom with me?’

(Everyone starts laughing.)

Meredith:  ‘No!  Quit it!’

Boy:  ‘Meredith.  Please, be my date to the prom.’

Meredith:  ‘No.’

Boy from opposite subway platform:  ‘Yo, what’d she say, Reese?’

Reese:  ‘She said no.  Ladies and gentlemen, what do you think she should say?’

Assorted embarrassed people:  ‘Yes!’

Meredith:  ‘I can’t.’

Reese:  ‘Why not?’

Meredith:  ‘I already have a date.’

Boy from other platform:  ‘Oh, come on, don’t do Reese like that!  He’s a good guy!’

Reese:  ‘Who?’

Meredith:  ‘Parker.”

Reese:  ‘Parker?!’

Boy from other platform:  ‘Sing her a song, Reese!’

Reese.  ‘I can’t.  Because I can’t sing.  But I can tell you how I feel today.’

Meredith (bright red):  ‘Oh, my God.’

Boy from other platform:  ‘That’s okay, Reese!  You tried.’

No luck on my block:

The school next door had a few:

The library, not so much:

By far, the best blooms were in the flower shops:

Hurry up, summer!

Entering the fair...

Crowds at the fair.

A pretty big fair, too - it spread off in all directions.

There was everything you look for in a fair…rides:

This ride spins everyone around very quickly.

…guys grilling meat…

Meat!

…women frying zeppole…

This lady was upset at me for taking her photo.

…patriotic frozen drinks…

Red, white and blotto!

…souvenirs…

Not sure what any of these are.

…tasteful novelty Ts for i bambini….

Pity the poor child.

…games, where you can win a half-dead goldfish in a Ziplock baggie…

Chuck's Live Fish

…firefighters, lest things get out of hand…

In addition to these firefighters, there were many groups of funny cops standing around, but they told me that if I took their picture, they would confiscate my camera.

…and garbage, without great piles of which no street fair in July in NYC would be complete…

Smells better than the zeppole!

…and finally, bizarre religious iconography!!

Giant, garish, totem-pole-like thing.

Man in a boat. (Don't be immature.)

Now, according to this video that my roommate found on Gothamist, these two religious icons are stars in a ceremony, in which they are lifted by gangs of fellows and danced toward each other, to the tunes of the Rocky soundtrack.  Please watch the video – it is something else.  Unfortunately, we did not witness this spectacle.

After exploring the street fair, we went out a-drinking in the East Village, after which we thought it would be good to get Pommes Frites.  Apparently, everyone else thought so, too.

Mmmm...Belgian fries up ahead.

We couldn’t find a handy stoop to eat them on, but luckily the nearby Max Brenner’s was closed, and someone had left some of the tables out!  We spread out our fare and felt very clever.

Sidewalk dining at 3:00a.m.! No wait.

The next night, I went to see Jigsaw Soul, a local band that always provides a giant, multi-media performance experience.

Jigsaw Soul

The audience.

The Jigsaw Soul dancers.

Shadow visuals.

Choreographed keg cup stacking.

One of several giant papier-mache bird heads.

More visuals.

After the show, we were famished.  Time for shawarma and falafel!

Mmmm, gyro-loaf!

After that, it began pouring, so we went over to Washington Square Park to watch the band and friends play dodgeball in the fountain.

Rainy Washington Square Park.

Hipster swimming pool.

It's all fun and games till someone loses a contact.

The next day, I was pretty tired.  I went for a long, lazy Sunday walk, over the nearly deserted Williamsburg bridge.

Bike and pedestrian lane.

After that, I ate a massive cup of ice cream, but I did not choose to document that with photographic evidence.  A pretty good weekend, overall.

At this point, a baby ran down the sidewalk, scattering the pigeons. The baby found some object wrapped in foil and put it in his mouth. I looked around for someone to intervene, and saw the baby’s mother running over. She chased the baby off down the sidewalk, yelling something in Polish that was probably, ‘Spit it out right now!’ Meanwhile, the fat pigeon found the cracker again, and was fighting over it with the two smaller pigeons. He sunk his beak into one of the smaller pigeon’s wingpit, and the bitten pigeon squawked and shimmied sideways, flapping its wing wildly against the fat pigeon’s head. Right that this moment, a tiny brown sparrow swooped between the fighting pigeons and the third pigeon who was hunkering to make another break at the cracker, snatched up the cracker in its beak and attempted to fly off. You could just tell how smart it thought it was by the set of its tailfeathers in flight. Unfortunately, the cracker was too big for it to fly with in a balanced way, and it was forced to land several times to rearrange its grip – the three outraged pigeons giving full, waddling chase. Finally, the sparrow managed to get the cracker to the grass, where it nestled down and became camouflaged. The pigeons went all over the place looking for it, and it worked at the cracker as quickly as it could.

I wish that was the end of it, but at some point when I wasn’t looking, the fat pigeon got the cracker back. The sparrow flew off like a shot, and there was the fat pigeon, puffing and proclaiming and strutting in tight little circles in the grass, while all manner of other pigeons made runs at the cracker. The pigeon kept battering everyone who got near, then took hasty pecks at the cracker, leaving off in time to attack each new intruder – he would even take on three adversaries at once.

I hate that Pigeon A won in the end. He was one fat, shiny, self-congratulatory, greedy, entitled jerkface, and as I sat watching him guard his meal, I wished harm upon him.

If you’re willing to go a bit out of your way, however, there are a few places that seem to have escaped the influx.

It’s brunch on a Sunday, and Brooklyn Label and the Park Luncheonette have lines out the door. But there’s another option that always has seating. Head North on Manhattan Ave. all the way to Huron St. and have juevos rancheros or a breakfast burrito at chef-to-stalk Cody Utzman’s Mexican street food restaurant, Papacitos. Delicious brunch for under $10 (and great veg options), friendly service, and – now that it’s summer – the long picnic tables in the breezy garden can accommodate all your friends at once.

After brunch, it’s time to do some shopping. Don’t feel like strolling Franklin Ave’s boutiques with the Vans-shod masses? Just steps from Papacitos, check out The Thing, an old school thrift store that’s as packed with stuff as Bburg’s Junk, but not packed with patrons – possibly because the place is a dusty mess and the owners are cranky. But the basement is a sight to behold, crammed with thousands upon thousands of used LPs. If you’ve got money left, head South on Manhattan Ave. Weirdly, Fred Flare chose to open their first ever brick-and-mortar store at the random out-of-the-way corner of Meserole and Leonard. The store’s adorable, and the merch is cuter. But best of all, you and your pals will likely have the run of the place.

Shopping not enough cardio to work off your brunch, but don’t want to crowd into the Sunday afternoon Greenpoint YMCA sweat-fest? Try Otom Gym, a block away on Calyer. Cheaper than the Y (a recent summer special is around $40/month) and less crowded, but you will have to ignore the exaggerated grunts of the weightlifting, musclebound men who make up the majority of the clientele. For a peaceful (and free) workout, you can always go for a run in the park. If it’s nice out, McCarren Park is sure to be carpeted in sunbathers, but shady, smaller Monsignor McGolrick Park, East of McGuinness between Huron and Driggs is always quiet. There are more trees in McGolrick, a small dog run and a playground, as well as a sheltered pavilion and several interesting sculptures — check out the weird squirrel statutes on either side of the West gate, that appear ready to pounce.

Just West of McGorlick on Nassau is Brooklyn Standard Deli, Cody Utzman’s brand new organic mini-mart. In an area saturated with Polish delis, Utzman’s store is a Godsend for foodies, with locally sourced and organic goods at corner store prices, and sandwiches and prepared meals, plus Stumptown coffee, homebaked goods and a juicebar. The focus here is on vegan and vegetarian fare (though meat options are also available). All this, and more elbow room than The Garden.

But if you’re craving Polish (and in Greenpoint, who wouldn’t be?), but Old Poland and Lomzynianka are packed, check out Antek Restaurant on Norman, across from the library. This bare bones Polish cafeteria has no English postings alongside the Polish menu, but here’s a hint: there are English take-out menus on the counter. The dishes are huge, tasty and dirt cheap – like a hearty white borscht with a mound of mashed potatoes for $2.50 – and there’s plenty of seating where you can chill and watch Polish TV.

For dessert, skip the perennially packed Peter Pan donuts, and head North on Manhattan to the charming Cafe Riviera, where mammoth, flaky croissants and fruit-and-cheese-filled danish the size of hubcaps are on offer for only $1.50, and cafe au lait in a pretty glass mug is $.50. The seating is limited, the line is often long, but most people get their treats to go. If you do snag one of the marble-topped cafe tables, it’s a pleasant place to watch the foot traffic down Manhattan.

When it comes time to hit the Greenpoint night life, stay well clear of the drunken scenesters at Enid’s and Matchless. Rather, head up North on Manhattan to The Hideaway, a hunting-lodge-inspired bar with yummy cocktails and bar food, nightly specials and episodes of Planet Earth on the overhead TVs. The Hideaway is cozy, but there’s always an open table, and the patrons are more into conversing with each other than striking poses at the bar.

Don’t stay out too late, though – if you’re like everyone else in Brooklyn, you’ve got a long day of freelance work ahead of you! When it comes time to pay the bills, there are a number of places to squat in Greenpoint. Cafe Grumpy and Greenpoint Coffee House are well-known haunts for laptop-toters, but try Eat on Meserole at Leonard. This tiny coffeeshop-slash-record store has great ambiance and no customers. Be forewarned:  they’ve recently gotten rid of the wireless and ask that you not bring laptops – but hey, going offline can really increase your productivity!  Plus, unlike Grumpy, Eat has a delicious full menu. By your third visit, you’ll be besties with the staff.

To get to Greenpoint, take the G to Greenpoint or Nassau. (Or skip the crowded platform and lengthy wait at Courthouse Square, and stroll over the Pulaski Bridge instead!)