A painfully awkward-looking guy in skinny jeans, and a precise-looking girl in tights and ankle boots shopped for fruit at the corner store. I would guess they were on about a fourth date. They blocked the entryway.
Girl: ‘Should we get fruit and other stuff, or…do you think…’
Guy: ‘I mean…I don’t really…’
(Long pause, during which other shoppers pushed them further into the store.)
Girl: ‘Ok, well, let’s just get fruit then, and that’s it.’
Guy: ‘Ok! Yeah!’
Girl: ‘Oh, God, I don’t even know. Do we need something for like a base, like juice, or…’
Guy: ‘…’
Girl: ‘Well, I guess we should get apples, yeah?’
Guy: ‘…’
Girl: ‘Should we, do you like red delicious apples?’
Guy: ‘Sure. Oh, sorry.’
Me: ‘Excuse me.’
Girl: ‘These are my favorite kind of apples, actually!’
Guy: ‘Yeah?!’
(Another long pause.)
Girl: ‘What? What are you laughing at?’
Guy: ‘Nothing! I just think it’s really funny that we’re making smoothies.’
Girl: ‘We are not making smoothies!’
Guy: ‘Yeah, I know. But like (mumble) funny if we were.’
Girl: ‘Should we get a mango? Excuse me.’
Me: ‘Oh, sorry.’
Girl: ‘Mango?’
Guy: ‘…’
Girl: ‘These are hard, though. It would need to be soft. Um…’
Guy: ‘…’
Girl: ‘Well, I’m going to get a carrot.’
