Comments on: I Need a Drink

By: Quiconque

Quiconque — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:03:54 +0000

Hunger-gatherers? My stomach is typing for me.

By: Quiconque

Quiconque — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:03:10 +0000

Goodness, all those hunger-gatherers (foragers) must be absolutely miserable that they don’t have a corner office! I smell a research project. Actually, given our current economic prospects, we all better use our stereoscopic vision, agile hands, and canine teeth and learn how to fucking forage again.

There is an old brochure on display at the predominantly women’s college where I work warning post-WWII parents of the dangers of sending their daughters to college: late nights studying, strained eyesight from reading all those books, and….gasp…cigarette smoking. The brochure urges parents to consult their FAMILY DOCTOR before allowing their daughters to go to school.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:25:15 +0000

First, I drank becuase I had no child.

Then, I became with child because I was drunk.

By: Hope

Hope — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:05:03 +0000

I don’t know how I would have gotten through my left breast amputation and the ritual breeding of my captive males without a coupla cold ones. Here here.

By: Mary Jane

Mary Jane — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:36:30 +0000

An evolutionary psychologist proposes that women are unhappy because they’re doing man things, but Freud thought women were unhappy because they couldn’t do man things. Crazy pseudoscientists. Get your story straight.

I think I’ll have a martini for breakfast and mourn my barren womb.