I am a fan of the singular ‘they,’ but some people get very heated about its use. They think that it’s incorrect, and that its increasingly widespread acceptance is yet another example of ridiculous PC capitulation to craaazy feminists, etc., etc., and that there’s no real reason that ‘he’ and ‘his’ can’t be used to refer to groups of men and women. On the other hand, there are also plenty of people who think using ‘they’ is totally legitimate and sometimes necessary, because using the masculine pronouns for mixed groups can be confusing. I bring all this up because I just came across a sentence in a Richard Bausch short story that completely illustrates why we need the singular they. The story is about a teenage boy, his mother, and his aunt all spending Christmas together. Here is the sentence:
They spent the early part of the evening wrapping presents for the morning, each in his own room with his gifts for the others…
Again, this sentence is referring to two grown women and a teenage boy. How much less confusing and disorienting would be: ‘…each in their own room with their gifts for the others….’
While reading this story, I enjoyed a Naked juice drink. Naked juice claims to use a pound of fruit per bottle, and on the side of the label, it lists the fruits included. This particular bottle lists: 3/4 peach, 1/2 mangosteen, lots of yummy white grapes, 2 3/4 apples & a hint of lemon. Of course, by “lots of yummy white grapes,” what “they” mean is “this juice is about 98% concentrated grape juice.” A quick glance at the ingredients list confirms this. Which is fine – I knew I was drinking juice from concentrate, and this is noted on the front of the label. But what’s so annoying about the “lots of yummy white grapes” language is how condescending it is. It’s like the Naked juice people know that the Achilles heel of their all-natural, whole-fruits juice packaging is that there’s concentrated juice in there, but rather than just not emphasize that part of it, they highlight it with a bunch of silly, misleading language. It’s like when I waited tables, and everything fried was described as “crispy,” which only led to a ton of people getting pissed when fried food came out, and sending it back, making more work for everyone and costing the restaurant money. People avoid ordering fried foods because they don’t freaking want fried food, so trying to fool them by changing the word is just a ridiculously pointless strategy that is doomed to fail.
