Most of the time, the way people behave is not particularly mysterious. We might say that it’s mysterious, but what we really mean is that it’s unbelievably inappropriate, self-centered, rude or self-indulgent.
“It’s unbelievable that he would say that to you!” Such a comment means that we can’t believe an adult would not exercise the appropriate self-restraint not to vent his or her emotions in an inappropriate way, but that doesn’t mean that we completely don’t understand the urge to do so, or how the person arrived at their inappropriate level of rage or indignation, or why they would really want to display it.
I’ve been thinking about which particular human behaviors seem to me to be not just inappropriate or childish, but really entirely inexplicable – that is, where I cannot for the life of me project myself into the frame of mind that causes a person to behave or be such a way.
One behavior I really can’t fathom is walking around with a boombox. This blows my mind. I truly can’t imagine what possible combination of thoughts can lead somebody to carry a battery-operated boombox out of their apartment and onto the sidewalk, select some sort of music that they want to play, and turn it on, crank it up, and point it carefully outward at passers-by. Why is this enjoyable to anybody? Maybe headphones get sweaty or hurt your ears…I can kind of see that. But a boombox is so cumbersome. It seems obvious that these people really are doing this at everyone around them – they want everybody else in addition to them to have to listen to this music. But why? Is it that they think some people might come up and start a conversation with them about it – that they might make a friend? Do they think some women might come over and start to dance? That seems unlikely – surely, no one would really think this, and even if they did, presumably they’ve done this before, and I’m sure that it never inspires any sort of relationship with anyone, so after trying and failing to use the boombox as a conversation starter three or four times, you’d imagine they’d give it up…yet we still see this behavior. Maybe these men are hoping that somebody will start a fight with them about it? That seems a little more likely. But it’s such an odd way to cruise for a fight – in the middle of the day, out in the heat, with a cumbersome piece of equipment.
The only thing that I can think is that it’s a small display of power – you know that nobody else has chosen to listen to music right at that moment, or they would have headphones on. So, you are choosing for them that they will listen to music – loud music, your music – right then, whether they want to or not. You are forcing them to participate with you in music-listening, and in that way, you have made a power grab. You own this part of the street now, because everybody on it is forced into an activity with you, and for whatever reason of social passivity and politeness, it’s hugely unlikely that anybody will bother to confront you about this, so you can assume that they are being obedient to your demands. They will listen to your music now, and they will probably not enjoy it, but they will listen to it anyway. I guess that’s sort of a motive that makes sense…for those with swagger and gold chains. But those are not always the people who carry boomboxes around. Sometimes, but not always.
I started thinking this, for example, because the other day as I was getting on the subway, I saw a guy across the street tune his boombox and carefully position it out. He looked around at everyone in a defiant, yet kind of self-conscious way. He wasn’t really selling it. This was the weirdest thing I’d ever seen. Usually, a sort of crazy, militant guy positively charges along with a boombox on his shoulder and the boombox seems a natural outgrowth of his general aggressiveness. But this guy – this guy was making careful decisions. He looked intimidated by his huge decision to carry a boombox around. So, given that, what on Earth in his mind ever inspired him to take on this challenge? What was the thought process?
“Okay, Ron, you have this boombox and you’re going to take a fifteen-minute walk and play it. Just go out there and play it! Nobody’s judging you. You’ll feel better once you’ve done it. It’s now or never.”
Why? Why ever? What ever for? Why would anyone ever want to walk carefully around a neighborhood with a boombox? What incentive could Ron possibly have had?
I can’t imagine.
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Incidentally, I know that I’ve been curiously silent lately. I realize that there’s a convention going on, that there’s a hurricane, that before that there was another convention, and there have been some Olympics, and an invasion of Georgia, and now it’s Labor Day, and through it all, I’ve not been blogging. You might think I’ve been very busy. Yep. You might think that.
