…now that Weight Watchers has launched its new “Diets Are Mean” campaign:
“Are you trying to be in movies? No? Then what do you want to be thin for?”
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“I think you have a lovely, womanly figure!”
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“Hell, how long’s it been since you last had sex? Give yourself a damn piece of cake!”
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“No one who’s had the day you’ve had could get by on 1500 calories.”
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“It’s just harder for you to lose weight than other people – you have a different kind of body.”
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“You went to the gym today – go ahead and have seconds!”
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“Oh, so you ate the whole pint. At least you’re not a heroin addict.”
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“If you’re being good and eating a boring salad for lunch, you should at least get to jazz it up with fried chicken strips and ranch dressing.”
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“You know, you’re a good, kind person, and you’re intelligent. If you’re also fifty pounds overweight, well, that’s just more of you to love!”
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“Skinny people look like anorexics with cancer.”
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“If you just concentrate on making yourself happy, the weight will go away on its own.”
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“Everything in moderation – even moderation!”
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“Calories don’t count on your birthday/at Christmas/on your friend’s birthday/at a wedding/on vacation/when it’s this beautiful out/on the weekends/when you’re celebrating/on Flag Day/when they’re free/when someone surprises you with a treat!!!!”